10 Reasons Australia still needs feminism
By: Miya Yamanouchi
Why feminism is more important than ever in 2015 Australia
I am a feminist. I
haven't called myself a feminist for very long, though. In fact, up until the
very beginning of this year, I even considered myself an anti-feminist, because
I was so misinformed about what feminism actually was.
I was foolish enough to buy into the
misconstrued cliché that feminists were man-hating, pretty-girl-hating, ugly
and boring women who didn't enjoy life, their bodies or sex — and didn't want
anyone else to, either. And girl, was I wrong!
1. During my stint as a sex therapist
(a.k.a sexual health counsellor), when I told men what I did for work, they
would automatically interpret my job title as simply a euphemism for sex
worker.
When I tell people I am counsellor,
it is only ever men who respond with questions such as: "Did you have
to do a day course for that or something?" or "Did
you need to do any studying for that?"
For those men who didn't
inadvertently challenge my intellectual capacity, the overwhelming majority of
male reactions came in the form of: "Oh, a counsellor... "(seemingly
disappointed at the lack of glamour associated with the reality compared to
their envisaged one), "I thought you were an actress/model/worked
in fashion."
2. Women slut-shame and victim-blame
each other as a result of internalizing the misogynistic attitudes that are
prevalent in our society.
I once walked home from my
boyfriend's place in the Halloween costume I had worn the night before, and
even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, it still felt like a
"walk of shame." When I got off the bus to my apartment, I walked by
two high school girls who looked at me and muttered the word "slut"
under their breath as they passed me.
When I went to the police at age 18
about being drugged with Rohypnol — the date rape drug — the female police officer
asked me to stand up and demonstrate to her with my hand exactly how high my
skirt was above my knee.
3. Degrading phrases like "walk
of shame" are commonplace in our social vocabulary, yet these are only
applied to women.
Men in the same situation are praised
by their peers and seen as nothing more than a guy who got lucky, which simply
serves to illuminate the ever-prevailing double standard of acceptability of
sexual agency in our culture among the genders. That morning-after Halloween
commute back home I did in the Gothic Angel costume, I wasn't the only one
trying to sheepishly tiptoe home in amidst the bustle of peak hour.
I passed other "walkers of
shame" who stuck out a mile away in their loosened ties, crinkled work
shirts rolled up to their elbows and chaotic bed hair. No one called them
"slut" as they walked past. In fact, I remember watching intently to
measure other's reactions to them, and aside from me, it seemed nobody had
taken the slightest interest in them at all.
4. Mainstream society deems it
acceptable for women to be used for sex for free and then discarded of, in the
form of never making contact after a one night stand, or completely ignoring a
woman post-coitus. However when a woman is financially reimbursed for sexual
acts it is considered utterly shameful and immoral.
When I conducted a survey a few
months back exploring the dating experiences of 127 women from 11 different
countries worldwide, being used for just sex and then treated as invisible
thereafter, there was sadly a very common grievance. Our patriarchal society
makes it okay for women's bodies to be used for male sexual pleasure,
regardless of if the guy never talks to her again. However, when a woman reaps
the benefit of financial profit from being sexually objectified, society
perceives this as dishonourable and "wrong."
5. When my skin is lighter in winter
and I have blond hair, everyone from strangers on the street to colleagues and
employers make openly racist comments about black people and ethnic minorities
in front of me, because they mistake me for being white.
I worked at a medical centre where a
doctor said he didn't want black people as patients, but I was okay, because I
was "mocha." At another health clinic I worked in, the boss sat at
his desk beside me and had a conversation in front of me to a colleague in
which he described someone as a "typical black person," which
apparently meant "always wanting something for nothing."
Once a man told me if I was ever to
travel "out west," I had to "watch out for those Islanders."
They were "really dangerous," he warned. Little did he know that I
was one myself. Just last week, an old lady in the line at the bank announced
to both myself and the bank teller that the solution to the problem in Syria
was to "just get rid of them all."
6. When women dress up as men we call
them creative, artistic and experimental, but when men dress up as women we
call them "tranny", "f*ggot" and "cross-dresser."
Earlier this year, I dressed up as a
boy for the first time for a feminist photo shoot. I posted the pics proudly
for all to see my rather-impressive transformation. The comments were all
positive. Many friends marvelled at my imaginativeness and commended me for my
ingenious ability to create a heavily convincing five o'clock shadow with an
eyebrow pencil. It occurred to me that the freedom with which I was able to
play gender dress-ups and share it publicly, was not awarded to men who wished
to do just what I had done. Indeed, for simply wanting to dress up as women,
men are not only ridiculed and shamed, but are often shunned by family and
friends — and even attacked.
7. My desire to avoid street
harassment determines what I wear when I go out alone, even in the daytime.
After looking back at a photo shoot I
did with my boyfriend, I noticed the clothes I wear when I do my photography
are not the same as what I wear when I go out anywhere, especially on my own.
In order to avoid the nonsensical catcalling and street harassment so rampant
in our society, I actually base my outfits on what will be safe enough to wear
if I'm going out on my own. By "safe enough," I mean attire that will
minimize the honking and yelling from cars, whistling and commenting from men
walking past and unsolicited conversations and attempted pick ups.
As women, we can certainly wear
whatever we want, but it comes at a cost of being prepared to get harassed
wherever we go. Or we can choose to dress conservatively in order to attempt to
prevent unwanted attention, at the expense of our personal preference of dress style
and fashion freedom. For the record, dressing in traditional Mormon attire
doesn't deter street harassment anyway.
8. When we reject a guy, even in the
most considerate of ways, he becomes nasty and lashes out for friend-zoning
him.
I love beautiful pictures of anything
and everything, whether it be people, animals or landscapes, and often liked
and commented on photos posted by a male Facebook friend. He apparently mistook
my expressions of admiration for sexual interest and began contacting me
privately asking for me to go out with him on a date. He told me he wanted to
kiss me and wanted me to stay at his house.
When I explained he had
misinterpreted my communication and that I had no interest in him other than
potential friendship, the man initially responded with, "I'll be the best
friend you ever had." He promised, "You wait. I don't want anything
from you. I'd be proud to sit next to you and talk regardless of whether you
never ever get romantic." Do you see the subtle undertone of hope and
expectation that I may one day in fact get romantic?
Hours later, he sent a barrage of
irate messages including, "I take it all back, I don't like you anymore. I
don't even know you." I didn't know him either, which is why I found it
odd he would tell me he wanted to kiss me and invite me back to his house!
9. There is a conjecture amongst a
large majority of men that women should consider ourselves grateful that we are
pretty enough to be sexually harassed by men.
God forbid, if we were ugly, then we
would receive no sexual objectification from men and then what value would we
have as women in society? My friend shared a post on Facebook recently about
how she was sick and tired of having to fight off men in the bar where she
works and also performs as a singer. She explained she had a rather dangerous
encounter with a male harasser while at work, which could have ended very
badly. One guy commented, "Look at it this way, you could be as ugly
as homemade sin and never have any guy try to
push up on ya."
I disagreed with dismissing the
severity of the problem by making light of an issue as serious as violence
against women, the man then went on to try and justify his actions. He said he
was merely trying to "cheer her up," and blamed it on his American
humor that was merely "misunderstood in Australia." Later, he
complained I "went all feminist" on him.
10. Referring to mature-aged women as "damaged goods" is accepted in a social conversation without anyone raising so
much as an eyebrow.
I have heard this term nonchalantly
thrown around more times than I care to count. Until I learned about feminism,
I didn't recognize the extent of the wrongness of such a derogatory expression.
Sexist language is so normalized, we have been conditioned to think nothing of
it when we hear it.
The most recent time the hideous
words emerged from the mouth of someone, that mouth was that of someone in a
position of power. I was furious with him for making such a repulsive
statement, but also with myself for not being in a place where I was able to
voice my absolute disgust.
Feminism is as relevant in 2015 as it
was a century ago, and I have a feeling it will be relevant forever.
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